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I remember envying the woman who lived in the room next to me in college. She had food stamps, and more food than I could afford with my tiny paychecks. She had fresh milk, fruit, iceberg lettuce, and hamburger. I ate spaghetti or a can of green beans for dinner, never both.

She might have had food, but did she have health insurance, as I had through my Dad's work? Did she have parents helping her with college tuition? Could she always pay for the books or paper or ink pens? Did she have a place to go when her roommate situation two years later didn't work out and her parents let her come home for a few months to get back on her feet? (I did.)

I didn't know these things then. At the time I assumed that even though her food stamps bought her more food than my paycheck bought me, I was the one coming out slightly ahead. I believed at the time that I somehow had a future that held better promise. Looking back, I hope I didn't. I hope those food stamps are what made it possible for her to go to college, likely without requiring extended family support,that she likely did not have. I don't remember her name. I hope she was the nurse that was able to finally get some blood out of my arm at Dublin Methodist Hospital. She was a nursing student.

Though I have helped people to get jobs for over 20 years, four of those helping people who receive public assistance, I sometimes forget how I used to see welfare benefits. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, two otherwise upbeat, cheerful and charming people without a financial need of their own that I can see chose to comment on "welfare moms". One was referencing a comparison for an animal who isn't properly caring for her newborn. The other,who upon hearing that I help people to get jobs, said, "Helping those women on welfare...that's something I wouldn't be able to do."

"Oh, really," I responded,"It really isn't usually very depressing. You are helping them with something positive, not creating problems. Now, being the case worker who has to be the one to put them into a Catch 22, that would be hard. As a Job Developer, I would usually know of one woman a week, who if she came to class, she couldn't attend her meeting at the homeless shelter, and she would lose her housing. If she didn't come to class, she would get sanctioned, wouldn't get her monthly cash, and would likely have to move, switch her childrens' schools, start over with getting childcare, so that she could get a job. THAT would be depressing. I don't know if I could do that."

Apparently I had missed her point, "I notice those women at the grocery store. They use their food stamps, then they use their own cash to buy things I wouldn't buy." Really? She had gone to Black Friday that day. What isn't she buying? What is it that she envies?

So, when you see that woman at the grocery store paying with food stamps, but buying a new pair of shoes, think about the last vacation you went on, the car repairs you can pay for with the money you have saved in the bank,the toys you can buy for your children, the gas you can put in your car to go to the metro park, the roof over your head. That woman doesn't have more than $300 month to spend.

If she is a working mom who provides childcare for your children so that you can work (yes, that woman is probably on public assistance), aren't you glad that she can have clothing without holes and can take her own kids (if she has them) to the zoo once in awhile, and can put gas in her car so she can get to work to take care of your kids? Aren't you glad that the woman who changes your mother's bed pan at the nursing home (it's very possible she receives public assistance) can buy a spatula if she needs it or can get one video game for her children like you do for yours? What life would you prefer for that woman? What about her life is enviable?

If you want to be upset, be upset that she only makes $9.00/hour. Be upset that these jobs don't pay more. Just because she gets food stamps, doesn't mean she doesn't have a job. And it doesn't mean she has children. If she does, she is taking care of them. Either way, she needs our help.

Why You Should Knit

I've been working on knitting the toe of this sock for three nights. Where the pattern says to weave in the ends, I am trying to do the Kitchener Stitch, which makes it look seamless. It is a little bit of knitting magic,and one of the reasons I like to knit.

Someone asked me recently why I knit. He said he just wanted to know why. He didn't think it was strange, but his raised eyebrow betrayed him. I gave him one reason, but there are many.

I like to knit because...

It is something that draws my attention, but demands nothing of me. I can set it down and walk away without resolving it's issues.

I love the way the yarn feels.

Every time I take a ball of string and two pieces of wood that look like chopsticks,spend some time with it, and it becomes a scarf or a mitten, or even a simple tube, it amazes me. (Actually, when I am able to successfully eat wtih chopsticks that amazes me too.) If you ever have the chance to turn a heel, or see someone do it, you should pay close attention. You are knitting along, and you slide stitches, and pick up some more, and in a little while you have a right angle that is the heel of a sock.

If we ever lose electricity, production plants, or other forms of power, someone will need to make clothes for us. I can do that. I can also pass the tradition so someone else can. We need to maintain the traditions that allow for sustainable living. You might know how to build a fire, or grow food. I am maintaining the tradition of knitting. Yesterday I heard a PhD say that she would help my colleague with his PhD if he promised to help five others. She has already helped twenty. I had a party at my house last winter for people who knit and the people who love them. The man next door learned to knit. Before that, I taught two women I worked with to knit. If you need to learn to knit, let me know.

People all around the world have knit for hundreds of years. Many have come up with the techniques apart from the others, but they all created scarves, hats, and sweaters. I like being connected to that history.

Alpaca socks are seven times warmer than wool.

Have you ever been to a yarn shop? Go a couple of times and try not to knit at least something.

You can make your scarf however long you want to.

You can make your sweater whatever shape you like.

I can knit and be around my family while doing something for myself at the same time. It's kind of sneaky.

I communicate with people all day (which I love), but my yarn doesn't require speech (which I also love). I can turn off that part of my brain.
While I am knitting it is often impossible to worry or think about "To Do Lists".

But one of the best things about knitting is the puzzles it brings. I have ripped out that toe three times now. Each time I have feared I wouldn't be able to get my needles back on the stitches. Somehow I have. Each time I have tried a new way. Tonight I will try another. Some people enjoy crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, or Jeopardy. I like knitting.

Many people look at a piece of knitting, and because it is so common place, they assume that it is easy. Though it isn't always complicated, it often involves math, thinking about spatial concepts backward, and finding new routes through patterns, especially if you aren't always willing to rip back multiple rows to correct mistakes. I am not. Sometimes I take it to the yarn shop and have them rip it back while I look the other way.

Knitting shares this in common with most other good forms of work. Focus, challenge, absorption, mystery, and discovery. Somehow I am hoping that these characteristics also build character.

What good forms of work do you do?

What's Your Larger Career Story?

One of the keys to interviewing well is to be able to tell your story. Almost any question I get about how to answer a specific interview question comes back to looking at the larger story.

For example, last week, one client asked about how to explain that he had left one of his positions for "philisophical differences". If this is the best we could come up with, then he would have to go with that. But is that the story he wants to create and share? The simplest answer is "Better Oppoortunity." If more detail is requested, then he could say "After twenty years of a very positive work experience, I located a better opportunity that allowed me to continue to grow and use my skills with _________________. Those are the same skills I understand you need from someone in this position. That's why I'm glad to get the opportunity to talk with you today."

"But why did you leave?" The interviewer could ask. They are asking for the larger story. When I probed a little further, it turned out that he had been with the company from the outset and helped them to be very successful. He enjoyed the work that they did and they were very pleased with him. After twenty years, a new management team wanted to go some new directions,as new managers often do. He located a better opportunity where he felt he could continue to grow. When he gave his four week notice, they asked him to stay, but he really felt it was time to move on.

Isn't this a more positive story than "philisophical differences"? Still, even this story only needs to be told if the interviewer probes for it. But be ready with the larger story. Each question doesn't come in isolation. It's the larger story that you are creating. Does my client go through his career having "philisophical differences"? Or does he do a great job, encounter workplace changes occasionally, and find the right place where he is a good fit and then continue to make positive contributions wherever he is? It's up to him.

Your story is up to you. What's your story?

Do I Really Have To Get LinkedIn?

Every week, I have an opportunity to talk with an individual or a group about social media, such as LinkedIn and Twitter. Last week we taught a workshop on the topic. Most people in the group were eager to get more tips on making better use of these tools. A couple of people shook their heads "No," they said, "I'm not doing that." Still others said, "Do we really have to?"

I could argue that it is effective. And it can be. I can argue that it's better and quicker than calling everyone in your Rolodex (do you still have one on your desk, too? If so, you should take this fun quiz to test your how old your really are by evaluating your social media skills But the more important thing...is that it is how things work now. It just is. I don't doubt that after the wheel was invented, there were late adopters, critics, and naysayers. But today, I can't think of a single group of people that doesn't use them.

We all realized somewhere between five and ten years ago that we had to use e-mail and do on-line applications. We have no choice. Not because it's a fad. It is what is.

Personally, I like a mortar and pestle, not a food processor. I like bicycles more than cars. I hesitated to use any cell phone, let alone a smart one. A year ago, I found myself asking other team members to take and send photos of our events. Then I realized, I need to do it myself too. I got a Droid. Now I take pictures and text. I realized that I have more than two decades more to work. I can't fall behind now! So, while I'm not the most current. I know I need to embrace technology.

I love to communicate in writing, and friends have been telling me for the past few years that I need to get a blog. I couldn't muster my fortitude to do it. I went to a Social Media Workshop last month where we were instructed to set up a blog as part of the class, and what you are reading is the result. Prior to the workshop, I had questioned whether I had missed the boat on blogs, or if I should save myself for books. Then, I realized that people will always be communicating with words. Blogs are one of the ways we do it now. It is what is. I don't need to question it anymore.

I have a team member that just reached what she deems the "Social Security age". Six months ago, she wasn't interested in a smart phone. "Too much money," she said. For some reason to got one anyway by September, and was eager to visit with her brothers and sisters,and be "the one who knows everything." She would tell how to get to the restaurant by using her google maps, and look up the answers to all the questions about which actress starred in that movie. Unfortunately, a hurricane cancelled the trip. She was disappointed to lose out on the opportunity to be the one with the phone. She will get her chance. Her plan is to stay current, because you never know how you will have to communicate with the utility company five years from now. Or five months. It changes fast. But it is just communication. That's all it is. And we've been doing that since our first year. I think most of us can manage it. It is what is.

So set up that LinkedIn account, follow that company you like on Twitter. Get yourself a blog and send me the link! Do you have any tweet successes to share? I'd love to hear them!